If you ever hear that I died at a fairly early age, here's why. I've been sick for ages, but it's not some weird disease killing me off. It's because I live in America, and I can't afford health insurance. I'm barely able to sit here and type this, but I feel like the world should know about this problem.
My health has been declining at a rapid pace. I've never before felt that my life was truly in danger until now. Truth is, I've been bleeding internally since a few weeks ago. This isn't the first time I've had symptoms like this, but all the other times, it went away. I can't say how long this recent bout has been going on, 'cause I never know what day it is. But I'm gonna guess it's been 2 months. I went to one of those Urgent Care places when it got really bad. I gave them all the money I had, and the doctor saw me. He was worried that he couldn't help me, so he refunded my money and sent me to the county hospital in the hopes that they would put me on some kind of state Insurance. What a load of ass it turned out to be.
I saw a doctor at the ER, that requested a female pelvic exam and blood tests. Weirdest thing, though.. every time they tried to stick me with the needle, I wouldn't bleed. So I went through a long painful process of being stabbed all over my arms, til they squeezed out a measley squirt of blood. After screaming in pain for a while, the nurse went to ask the doctor if they had to keep trying, and they said they could stop. I found out later that all they were doing was giving me a pregnancy test. CRAP. I was there for AGES in pain for a damned pregnancy test. They told me to just follow up with a doctor at their facility in 2 weeks, and sent me home.
The next night, I was in insane amounts of pain, and knew that I couldn't wait two weeks. So a friend of mine told me to call his doctor's office, 'cause they were really good. I told them what happened, and they got me in the next day. This doctor checked me over and got me an appointment with a GI specialist
at the end of the next month. They were trying to wait and see if my insurance was gonna go through. I called back a couple of days later to say that my pain was worsening by the hour. My doctor was out of town, so they set me up with a partner. This doctor was troubled by my symptoms and family history, so she promptly ordered blood tests and some kind of CAT scan for the next day. I wouldn't have been able to get the CAT scan if I didn't call my aunt and ask for help paying. I had to make a downpayment of 30% before they would examine me, because I had no insurance. So $400 later, I got my CAT scan, which showed nothing.
Now, because I had to drink 3 jugs of this barium solution, I kinda got cleaned out, if you know what I mean. After a day and a half of additional runs (I already had the runs at this point, it was just worse), I realized how much less pain I was in without food inside me. So I stopped eating. I stopped eating for almost 3 weeks. I think during this time is where my head gets cloudy because my new doctor decided to try me out on some last resort pills. Although, now that I think about it, I was on some already..I musta gotten 'em from the ER.. But anyway, pills. They take the pain away somewhat, but I still couldn't eat, and they make me hear voices at night. So being perpetually stoned off of meds still wasn't helping, and she pulled some strings to get me in to see that GI specialist three or so weeks early. I found out that my original appointment with the specialist wasn't the promised colonoscopy, but a consultation. ...
I went to see the GI specialist and he took pity on me. By this time it had been about 3 weeks since I had last eaten a meal. My friends brought me some yogurt and liquid-type foods, and I started drinking Carnation Instant Breakfast.. I think that's how I got my energy back. But anyway, he knew I couldn't afford to pay him, so he didn't charge me. What he attempted to do was get me admitted to the hospital there in a couple of days. Well, here's what happened with that.
Two days ago on Monday at 8:45 EST, I went to the ER like planned. I was stoned off my ass from this medicine, and slightly delirious. I also started getting a lot of nausea from taking 3 different pills. I told them how sick I'd been the past couple months, and that I was told to return if my symptoms are continuing, and to call my doctor. (That's what he said to do) Not only did they refuse to call him, they told me to GTFO after they made me drink some crap for nausea. They said they can't do the types of exams that I need and to call my doctor to set up an appointment. ... So I guess since the pills seemed to be working, and I wasn't in screaming, writhing pain as I had been in past weeks, they weren't worried. I called my doctor's office to tell them what happened at the ER, and they were shocked. My doctor got pissed off and called them and told them to admit me to the hospital, and messaged me to tell me to go back immediately.
OK, get some popcorn, 'cause this is the best part of the story.
I went back in the ER and waited until
MIDNIGHT. They told me I couldn't have any water or medicine or anything the whole time because I was gonna get an endoscopy. WRONG. At midnight they yanked my IV and told me to go home. So they called me a cab and sent me on my way. After a 20 minute drive of being hit on by the cab driver, I finally got home and ate some food and took pills. I went to bed, and called the specialist's office the next afternoon to tell them what happened. They were confused. Last I heard, the specialist was talking to my doctor to figure out what to do. I was told I'd hear something by Thursday. So after a few hours of waiting around, that's when the pain returned. Except it was in a new part of my back as well as lower on my front. I layed on the couch for a while. Got up occasionally to check messages, but then I started hurting again. I spent the rest of the night on the verge of tears and wincing in pain. That brings us to this morning.
This morning I feel so bad that I honestly don't know how long I can go on. I called both doctors' offices and let them know. It feels like my organs are being crushed, and it hurts me to sit up. I feel like I have a couple of knives in my back, and I'm nauseous. My head hurts and I'm still on the verge of tears. I'm extremely depressed. Writing this entry was a long, trying process. I honestly feel like I don't know how long I'm gonna last.
I'm not afraid of death, and although I'm pretty unlucky, I've had a good life and I've gotten to do a lot of things that other people haven't done. I won my first art contest when I was 5. Published my first essay when I was 7, resulting in an article about me in the Congressional Records which was placed by my senators, and getting invited to the White House. I've traveled all across the US, and have gotten to visit Japan. (I won a drinking contest against an elderly Japanese challenger! :3) I've been to all kinds of conventions from anime to furry to sci-fi, and even GDC and E3. I went to art school. I've met a lot of celebrities and a lot of friends... I experienced true love. I've had amazing religious experiences. I've represented large corporations, and also fought against their evils. I had an award-winning radio show. I got to operate my very favorite rollercoaster. .. I could keep going.
Yeah, it's senseless that my adventures could end now. And over what? Money. That's what it always boils down to. I mean, seriously, compared to a lot of people, I've had an awesome life. So I can't complain about not getting to hang around longer. The only thing that troubles me about dying is I want to spend more time with my loved ones. But if God wants me to come home, then I can't argue. Then again, if God wants me to come home, he coulda just done it a lot quicker. Which leaves me to believe that actually, I'm just sitting here suffering for no reason other than these doctors can't help me!! I believe that my doctors tried to help me as much as they could, but I dunno how things work in their world. However...if I don't hear anything by tomorrow, I'm gonna take drastic measures. Don't worry, it won't be too stupid.
Feel free to pass this note around to any of your medical professionals, people of power, anyone that can do something about this. 'Cause if it's happened to me, it's happening to a lot of other people that are worse off. And it's WRONG. People need to wake up and hear about this B.S. It's things like this that reinforce my decision to not reproduce.
Freakin' John Q....